Coaching in the classical sense is working with a person on his or her specific request. A person should have the resource and desire to work on a particular situation, thought or manifestation to achieve the desired result. That is, the work is purposeful. The coach, for his part, helps him to reach the goal by means of the main tool of coaching - questions and feedback. And even if the goal changes many times during the work - it doesn't matter. The main thing is that both the client and the coach understand in the moment what they are working on.

The truth is that it is often quite difficult for a person, especially if they have been trying to help themselves for a long time, to formulate a request. For example, there is a feeling that something is wrong on all fronts, and there is no satisfaction from life, but it is unclear how to describe it specifically and where to start. In such a case, a specific request and a measurable result are out of the question.

Is it okay to go to a coach then?

Classically, it would seem that no inquiry - no coaching.

I know many coaches who would not work until the client's wishes are more or less clear. Others are uncomfortable starting work from the zone of the unknown, when there is nothing to rely on at all.

I can say for myself - I don't mind working when there is no clearly defined request. "Confused clients" have already become my unspoken specialty. More often than not, it is with such clients that the depth of self-knowledge and the degree of life change is very strong after coaching sessions. Let me explain why.

I strongly believe that all life, events, people, reactions, accomplishments and mistakes are the result of one person's functioning, a consequence of the Self.

If there is dissatisfaction with something outwardly, then:

  • 1.It's probably not just in one area,
  • 2.This can definitely be changed by tweaking the internal personality settings.

Wherever quality coaching begins, it always leads to the person himself and his belief system, fears, patterns, inconsistencies, manifestations, strong and weak qualities, the chosen model of behavior, the consequences of past experience, the result of the influence of society, and much more. If all this internal system of the personality is fine-tuned and corresponds to the true desires of the person, is based on his strong qualities, and does not contain (or minimally contains) resistance, then the result of the person's "work" will be to his liking. If there is no such result yet, it makes sense to investigate the root cause - the inner world of a person, his "stuffing".

By breaking it down into atoms, a person sees for himself how everything is organized, how and why he makes exactly such choices, where there are failures, where there are recurring patterns. Having clarity in this, it is possible to decide how to adjust the internal system so that it works in the interests and for the benefit of the person himself.

In a nutshell, this is what we do in coaching. We work deeply at the level of the individual and thus qualitatively change the reality that surrounds a person. For a long time, with understanding, ecologically.

As you say, the request is not of primary importance here. What is more important is the person themselves, their desire for change, their understanding of where that change should be directed, and their willingness to take active steps. And even if there is no clear understanding of what to work on in the first session, I always go into interaction with the client, if we both feel the value in it. By the second or third session, the situation always starts to unravel into puzzles and there are many requests that are closely intertwined with each other. The client has to choose which is more relevant. And this is where the most interesting part of coaching begins!